Twenty laws,
observed in the wild.
MonkeyLaws is a quiet field guide. Gentle, dryly funny, and entirely cribbed from real monkeys living in real trees.
Monkey Doesn't
No monkey has been promoted. No monkey has checked its 401k. The list, as observed:
Monkey Doesn't Work
No monkey has a manager. No monkey has been promoted. No monkey has been let go.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Worry
No monkey has ever checked its 401k.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Wait
Monkeys don't queue, don't schedule, don't reschedule.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Save
Eats the fruit now, finds more fruit later.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Hurry
A monkey moves fast or slow, never late.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Compare
No monkey has wondered if another monkey is doing better.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Pretend
A scared monkey screams. A happy monkey shows it.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Diet
Eats when hungry. Stops when not.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Network
Has a troop. Knows everyone in it. That's enough.
Read →Monkey Doesn't Plan
The day arrives and the monkey arrives with it.
Read →Monkey Does
The other half of the field notes — the things the monkey kept.
Monkey Loves
Grooms, holds, stays close.
Read →Monkey Lives
Fully, in the tree, in the moment.
Read →Monkey Chills
Naps in the sun without guilt.
Read →Monkey Plays
Adults still play. Monkeys never stopped.
Read →Monkey Rests
When tired, immediately, anywhere.
Read →Monkey Eats
With hands, with joy, without apology.
Read →Monkey Climbs
Up is the answer to most questions.
Read →Monkey Trusts
The troop, the branch, the next branch.
Read →Monkey Shares
Food, warmth, the good spot.
Read →Monkey Belongs
To a troop, to a forest, to itself.
Read →"He is not behind on anything."— Monkey Doesn't Work
A field guide for humans. From the team behind BeLikeMonkey.studio.
© 2026 MonkeyLaws. The forest does not check ID at the door.